But Cancer IS funny

Everybody has heard about breast cancer now? We're good? Cool! Let's stop with the pink shit on football uniforms. Fucking whiners.

Is it ironic that Farah Fawcett, the owner of the best boobs of the 70s, died of anal cancer? That may be Gods alltime greatest headfake.

Need a ruling on the irony, though. Alanis ruined my irony meter.

Paula Deen

Paula Deen is staring into my soul from the television - with those crazy painted porcelain doll eyes. I liked her much better when she was agoraphobic.

Kid demonstrates English language in 24 accents

From BoingBoing.net:

This video is terrific fun, not to mention loaded with cussing.

Me attempting to do 24 different accents from my own country and from other countries around the world. Hopefully I got most of them right but I may have made mistakes and I can do some better than others. However, I made this video for my friends because I promised them I would do an accent video. I mean no offence to anyone and please don't be upset if I have not included your specific accent or got it wrong.

Hibbity Jibbity

I won't be truly happy until Obama is serving me tea at Red Lobster.

Question

Don't you hate it when someone responds to your question with another question? If you ask me a question about that question, you're immediately subject to the COCKPUNCH terms of this blog - and Thank You for your sudden interest in the COCKPUNCH terms of this blog. (listed in onerous detail in the legal micetype you just quickly clicked past/agreed to)

Recursion

If I had been present at Jesus' birth, I would have given him a tiny toy manger scene. What the Bible is missing is that kind of recursion.

Buttload

I think it's only appropriate to begin my participation on this blog with my strident objection to the term "buttload", since I prefer "boatload".

If I have a boatload of cash, it is a pile of cash the size of a fully loaded boat.

If I have a buttload of cash, I have a wad of cash roughly the size of my fist. Also, it's been in a butt.