Death Pools

I'm going to try to supplement my earnings this year by joining as many cash death pools as possible. Then I'm going to sit around the house and hold my breath until my targets are eliminated.

Last year I was responsible for a spate of Hollywood-types eating it.

Sean Penn best watch his ass. There are few things I hate more than an undeserved sense of self-worth.

John Edwards

Douchebag of some note. I can only assume that he's going to throw himself on Elizabeth's funeral pyre in keeping with the carny tradition.

Elizabeth Edwards

Currently deceased. No joy in that at all. But let's not kid ourselves. She was not classy, she was not a hero, she was, it seems, not all that bright.

She married the most ginormous douchenozzle in all of creation. And he pimped her terminal disease every chance he got. For votes. And she let him.

So fuck her. Fuck the embargo against speaking ill of the dead. If you're a fuckwit you're a fuckwit, dead or alive. She did what she could to impede democracy and harm the country. All in the name of advancing her shitbag husband up the ladder.

I'm a people person. Fuck you for asking.

Death and Taxes

So if the proposed death tax changes go through I will stop advising my elderly clients to die this calendar year.

Waffle Iron

My wife threw away the Waffle Iron because "It's too hard to clean". It's a Waffle Iron - of course it's hard to clean. The new one will be hard to clean, too, and it's way on the other side of town at Wal-Mart.

Aaaaallll Bidness

Not going to lie to you - I was hoping to draw the blonde. I'll still let you keep my underwear.

Nataleeeeee

Found a bone in my chicken salad. Sending it to NASA to see if it belongs to that Holloway girl. Fingers crossed!!