Stat Whore

If two people ever click on a post here the site will explode. Literally AND figuratively. Suck on THAT as you ponder my virtual impotence.

Virtual only. In real life I'm all man, baby.

Cycle of Life

Had a 60-year-old man cash out his IRA today because he's a pussy.

Had a 27-year-old start one because he's not.

Guess who gets a Christmas card.

Babies

I don't have any. They all look like potatos. You're lying if you disagree. Potatos that smell like ass and tuition.

twitter

I've been out trying to learn Twitter. I have learned that twitter is full of dumbass just like everything else, but you get a chance to filter out the worst offenders. I could live my entire life at 140 characters or less, but would someday like to write something interesting to people without a debilitating prescription drug habit.

We shall see.

Dammit, Janet! We're back in bidness

I'm kicking this shit back off. Just so you know it will be dull, but I will give it the ole college try.