Waffle Iron

My wife threw away the Waffle Iron because "It's too hard to clean". It's a Waffle Iron - of course it's hard to clean. The new one will be hard to clean, too, and it's way on the other side of town at Wal-Mart.

Aaaaallll Bidness

Not going to lie to you - I was hoping to draw the blonde. I'll still let you keep my underwear.

Nataleeeeee

Found a bone in my chicken salad. Sending it to NASA to see if it belongs to that Holloway girl. Fingers crossed!!

If I Were A Tree

If I were a tree, I would be the type of tree that falls on shitheads that ask silly questions.

The Inevitable Stroke

So when the smiting eventually comes along, I don't know which direction I want to go. Is it better to shit my pants endlessly? Drool? Require the old helmet/chinstrap combo? All three?

I hope that I get the helmet plus a modified tourettes. That'll give me a chance to say the most inappropriate things to the cute nurses.

Because the stroke IS coming. My behavior demands it.

I Don't Know

http://www.curtisgotslappedbyawhiteteacher.com/

It IS funny, though. You don't see a 40-page ransom note in outline form and attachments everyday.

Don't care if it's fake. It is awesome.

You Know That Feeling When You've Just Eaten a Hobbit Whole?

Mythical Tree in Actual Forest

This blog hasn't earned the right to call itself a blog yet. How's that for lower than whale shit?

Until we get our shit together, this shall be known as a blo.

I'll hang up and listen to your answer.

McRiiiiiiiiiiiiibbb!!

Sorry for the superfluous exclamation point.

Had a McRib for lunch today for the first time since 1985. Another 25 years ought to do it. How can something that should be awesome fall so far short of the target? It tastes like they herd homeless people in to design them, make them, lick them, then market them.

Pork hasn't been treated so wrong ever. I'm including "Deliverance" here.

Atomic Clock

Every time I see an atomic clock, I think it should be stopped at the exact time of an atomic blast that was dropped on people. Otherwise, I don't get it. Or maybe it just isn't an American clock.

Vitter

I don't give a shit if he chokes a hooker on pay-per-view. Mofo has my vote this time.

Fish

Maybe if she were prettier we would accept her right to the throne.

Trust Me on This

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7QDdLtIPX0&feature=player_embedded