Advice for a New Mother

Pretend you just picked up and put your Scrabble tiles in the tray, but you haven't arranged them in any particular order yet. That's a pretty name. In some crazy future world where nobody cares about anything anymore.

She's not late, she's not coming at all.

Curiosity killed the cat. Specifically, curiosity about Meth. Also, she was 27 in cat years. Well, I'm off to Facebook - the Craigslist of free cats.

Soak the rich

I'll agree to confiscate all the money the millionaires and billionaires have, take away all the oil company tax breaks, and give all the corporate jets to ACORN and SEIU, if the Democrats will shut the fuck up already. Because, it is obvious to me now that the problem we have in America today is that people have too much money and aren't paying enough taxes.

Garlic Tea Party

I enjoy how crazy pissed the Democrats get at the Tea Party. It's the kind of hissing pissed that Vampires reserve for a garlic crucifix.

Bin Laden Tower

Most things that seem ironic just aren't. Having said that, I bet Christian nutjobs knock this Bin Ladin Tower down. You know, for Jesus. http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/08/02/bin-laden-group-to-build-tower/

Our Awful Cat

I should have named this cat "Vermin". Mostly because when I call her by the name the kids gave her, I think she likes it.

Tool

Kanye West has the highest inverse relationship of ego to talent ever measured. I Googled it.